August 22, 2011
Ben lay in a hospital bed, wondering how he had managed to fall asleep at the wheel. He had veered off the road and plowed into an ancient oak, and his spine had shattered into a thousand pieces. After a night of intensive surgery, he had woken up in a drugged stupor to realize that the lower half of his body was completely numb and unresponsive. In effect, he was a living torso.
Ben sighed and looked out the window as a gaggle of family members bustled around him. The autumn sun was creeping lazily through the trees, and a nauseating aroma was wafting into the room from the hallway.
"You might as well have the doctor amputate my lower half," Ben said to no-one in particular, "that way my heart won't need to do extra work to service this useless meat."
His brother Barney gave him a wry smile. "Ben, you'd bleed to death if you were cut in half. Think about it."
"No, they could just cauterize the wound. That would take care of the bleeding."
Barney stroked his chin and gazed into the corner for a few moments. "You mean like a pan-fried torso?"
"Exactly."
"…It's a thought. I'll ask the doctor about it. You should get some rest, Ben." Barney patted Ben on the shoulder. "By the way, now that you're--"
Ben sagged under the blankets. The scene was pretty grim.
Ben sighed and looked out the window as a gaggle of family members bustled around him. The autumn sun was creeping lazily through the trees, and a nauseating aroma was wafting into the room from the hallway.
"You might as well have the doctor amputate my lower half," Ben said to no-one in particular, "that way my heart won't need to do extra work to service this useless meat."
His brother Barney gave him a wry smile. "Ben, you'd bleed to death if you were cut in half. Think about it."
"No, they could just cauterize the wound. That would take care of the bleeding."
Barney stroked his chin and gazed into the corner for a few moments. "You mean like a pan-fried torso?"
"Exactly."
"…It's a thought. I'll ask the doctor about it. You should get some rest, Ben." Barney patted Ben on the shoulder. "By the way, now that you're--"
Ben sagged under the blankets. The scene was pretty grim.
August 19, 2011
Marcus sank into the little brown chair. He had never been so bored in his entire life, and Bethany wasn't even in class today. I wonder if she's skipping out with Josh. He would have to ask Stephanie about it at lunch.
Marcus flung his hand up. "Mr. Karzynski?" he blurted, as the entire class turned to look at him. "Can I go to the bathroom? I have to go really bad."
Mr. Karzynski looked dumbfounded as he turned away from the blackboard. "Um... alright..." he stammered, his eyes bulging beneath a pair of thick tortoiseshell glasses. "The hall pass is on my desk."
Marcus shot up from his seat and hurried out of the room. When he closed the door he saw half the class looking at him with envy. I bet you dweebs had wished you'd asked first, huh?
In the hall, he glanced up at a poster taped to the wall. "Knowledge is power," it read. Marcus wondered if that was really true, or whether it was just something that dweebs said to justify their propensity for cowering behind the written page.
The remainder of the day passed by uneventfully.
Marcus flung his hand up. "Mr. Karzynski?" he blurted, as the entire class turned to look at him. "Can I go to the bathroom? I have to go really bad."
Mr. Karzynski looked dumbfounded as he turned away from the blackboard. "Um... alright..." he stammered, his eyes bulging beneath a pair of thick tortoiseshell glasses. "The hall pass is on my desk."
Marcus shot up from his seat and hurried out of the room. When he closed the door he saw half the class looking at him with envy. I bet you dweebs had wished you'd asked first, huh?
In the hall, he glanced up at a poster taped to the wall. "Knowledge is power," it read. Marcus wondered if that was really true, or whether it was just something that dweebs said to justify their propensity for cowering behind the written page.
The remainder of the day passed by uneventfully.
August 15, 2011
August 7, 2011
August 2, 2011
Inguinal hernia, hiatal hernia
celebrate good times, come on!
Spill grape juice everywhere
ruptured appendix
umbilical hernia
no longer require sleep
sputum, bile, marinara sauce
gravy, gall stones, shingles,
compost heap,
gout
bell pepper, enlarged heart
canker- spelt bread
foot condition, rash
pickled asparagus
baked mushrooms hives
chronic ulcers gravy and biscuits
celebrate good times, come on!
Spill grape juice everywhere
ruptured appendix
umbilical hernia
no longer require sleep
sputum, bile, marinara sauce
gravy, gall stones, shingles,
compost heap,
gout
bell pepper, enlarged heart
canker- spelt bread
foot condition, rash
pickled asparagus
baked mushrooms hives
chronic ulcers gravy and biscuits
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