February 28, 2011
Be sure to do this if you want to be popular...
Make sure the joke is easy enough and juvenile enough and stupid enough and reference enough pop culture in the joke or else no one will get it and you will never be successful and host an awards show. Also make sure that you are cute in someway, ironically cute is the choice for 2011.
Fuck, shit.
I went to some fucking place
Probably where people could describe something "gay", and then laugh
I did gay shit there, cuz it was a gay place.
Everyone liked a type of thing, everyone.
Everyone loves Justin Bieber, I think it's gay
Didn't you see souper boll?? Bieber looks like a girl LOL! LMFAO! ROFLMAO!!! HA!!!!!! OMG, EPIC WIN!! FTW
HAHAHA THEY MADE FUN OF YOUNG BIEBER MAN EVER THO HE WAS THERE!
that commercial, maybe it was pepsi, i don't know, who cares.
but fuck, everyone loves fallout boy now. whats up with that?!
Oh, you mean its not 2005? oh, sorry.
February 27, 2011
???? FROZEN FESH \\\
He became a frozen fesh
when he finally
decided that he understood
his use-value
And this allowed him to
separate the things that
he had previously connected
and had seemed fluid
And intermingling
before he decided
that he is a frozen fesh
on a plat.
when he finally
decided that he understood
his use-value
And this allowed him to
separate the things that
he had previously connected
and had seemed fluid
And intermingling
before he decided
that he is a frozen fesh
on a plat.
Sometimes
I gave my friend a big, soft doll
a sweet token of my love
one day I found it sopping wet
(on the cement)
grinning lifelessly above.
a sweet token of my love
one day I found it sopping wet
(on the cement)
grinning lifelessly above.
February 25, 2011
A mostly normal Man.
Jim Donarus is a married man in his late 40's. He is mostly fat, balding on his head, and he wears glasses.
His wife is named Jane probably, he is not attracted to her.
He "settled", because he is uninteresting and not attractive.
What does Jane care, she has a husband a sad child probably.
Jim spends most of his time talking to his co-worker and friend, Ryan C.
While Ryan is the same age as Jim, women who flirt with him tell him that he looks 35.
Ryan has a wife, no one knows her name, but Jim is very attracted to her. She is a milf.
He uses any excuse he can to see Mrs. C. When he is not in the same room as her he is thinking about her.
Most of Jim's sad life is spent thinking about Mrs. C. He has become obsessed.
He wishes that he as motivated, or had good genes, or had confidence, or had hair.
Many hours are wasted dreaming of a life with Mrs. C. It's not like he has anything better to do anyway.
He doesn't talk to anyone about this problem. It seems abnormal to talk aloud about it, plus it makes him sweat thinking about it.
to be continued.
His wife is named Jane probably, he is not attracted to her.
He "settled", because he is uninteresting and not attractive.
What does Jane care, she has a husband a sad child probably.
Jim spends most of his time talking to his co-worker and friend, Ryan C.
While Ryan is the same age as Jim, women who flirt with him tell him that he looks 35.
Ryan has a wife, no one knows her name, but Jim is very attracted to her. She is a milf.
He uses any excuse he can to see Mrs. C. When he is not in the same room as her he is thinking about her.
Most of Jim's sad life is spent thinking about Mrs. C. He has become obsessed.
He wishes that he as motivated, or had good genes, or had confidence, or had hair.
Many hours are wasted dreaming of a life with Mrs. C. It's not like he has anything better to do anyway.
He doesn't talk to anyone about this problem. It seems abnormal to talk aloud about it, plus it makes him sweat thinking about it.
to be continued.
February 22, 2011
"Found poem" 2/22
"
Fun Things for Married Couples to do
-taken from: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/fun-things-for-couples-to-do.html
Fun Things for Married Couples to do
- Fun thing for married couples to do include taking a trip to a Safari Park or visiting some historic sites.
- Biking or bowling are some fun things for married couples to do together.
- Sing karaoke together.
- Another fun thing for married couples to do is do yoga together.
- Married couple can feed each other fondue for fun.
- Taking your wife for a helicopter ride is another fun thing for married couples to do.
-taken from: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/fun-things-for-couples-to-do.html
Bean Goose
We had: mocha, double mocha,
americano, double americano, triple americano,
machiatto, caramel machiotto, double caramel machiatto no froth,
single shot mochiozzo, double shot mochiozzo,
drip,
Hot tea, cold tea, double tea,
americano, double americano, triple americano,
machiatto, caramel machiotto, double caramel machiatto no froth,
single shot mochiozzo, double shot mochiozzo,
drip,
Hot tea, cold tea, double tea,
February 21, 2011
I don't think I'm ugly I just think it's funny
My nose is like a crow's nose,
my eyes are like two coals,
my mouth is like a gaping grotto,
my chin is a stump,
my hands are just like squids,
my knees, like vice grips,
my feet are like a duck's feet,
my ears are like motor oil funnels,
my hair is like a brillo pad,
my cheeks look like sandpaper,
my thighs are awful rubbery,
my arms are sickly green,
my teeth are rotting away,
my eyebrows are lurid caterpillars,
my brain is like yogurt
my tongue is a sea slug,
my eyes are like two coals,
my mouth is like a gaping grotto,
my chin is a stump,
my hands are just like squids,
my knees, like vice grips,
my feet are like a duck's feet,
my ears are like motor oil funnels,
my hair is like a brillo pad,
my cheeks look like sandpaper,
my thighs are awful rubbery,
my arms are sickly green,
my teeth are rotting away,
my eyebrows are lurid caterpillars,
my brain is like yogurt
my tongue is a sea slug,
February 18, 2011
Friday
I.
I like to draw heads,
you can draw the eyes,
the shape and size,
it's fun to make something new,
in pen blue.
But they are so flat,
they look so stupid,
so contrived,
Sigh,
I like to draw a head,
looking straight up,
but it's disgusting,
abrupt,
I hate it in my gut.
Is that usual?
Is it cruel to stare,
is it o.k. to stare at a child,
when they were staring at you first?
Did you ever stare at a cat,
an old wise one who was resting on his belly?
You shouldn't, cats find that aggressive.
A child will stare at you,
even when you are looking straight at him.
We get so bashful when we age,
not at all like a fine cheese.
II.
A guy came to the house to lay tiles.
He had a big blue van,
He was balding but with ponytails,
he was an older man.
He told us he only eats two meals,
one in the morning and one at night,
My Mom tried to serve him pizza at noon,
He didn't touch it, but he left with a beer alright.
On his last day he brought us
two quarts of sauerkraut and
two bottles of his homemade wine.
One was red one was peach,
it was a good wine!
I drank a glass of it,
for good health,
but then I couldn't understand the movie
afterward, it was too confusing, so much talking,
don't get me wrong I like a good drama,
but lately I just
want to watch explosions
and,
and car racing,
machine guns,
and speedboat chasing,
are these selections o.k.?
Is this bread soft enough?
Is this raw enough
*sigh*
I want to pilot an X-wing, Sigh
III.
When I was ____teen,
I was so stupid,
I took a Clif bar and mashed it into the shape of a
turd,
and set it on the floor to watch people's reaction.
Males should go to school 2 years later than girls
because we mature so slowly and stupidly,
I wore fat skate shoes at the time,
but you probably already guessed that.
Huge fat black skate shoes, like big blocks on my legs,
god that looked stupid, probably made of shiny leather
or softy suede, and I probably loved to eat a hamburger back then,
and a fat greasy cookie from kim's corner.
I like to draw heads,
you can draw the eyes,
the shape and size,
it's fun to make something new,
in pen blue.
But they are so flat,
they look so stupid,
so contrived,
Sigh,
I like to draw a head,
looking straight up,
but it's disgusting,
abrupt,
I hate it in my gut.
Is that usual?
Is it cruel to stare,
is it o.k. to stare at a child,
when they were staring at you first?
Did you ever stare at a cat,
an old wise one who was resting on his belly?
You shouldn't, cats find that aggressive.
A child will stare at you,
even when you are looking straight at him.
We get so bashful when we age,
not at all like a fine cheese.
II.
A guy came to the house to lay tiles.
He had a big blue van,
He was balding but with ponytails,
he was an older man.
He told us he only eats two meals,
one in the morning and one at night,
My Mom tried to serve him pizza at noon,
He didn't touch it, but he left with a beer alright.
On his last day he brought us
two quarts of sauerkraut and
two bottles of his homemade wine.
One was red one was peach,
it was a good wine!
I drank a glass of it,
for good health,
but then I couldn't understand the movie
afterward, it was too confusing, so much talking,
don't get me wrong I like a good drama,
but lately I just
want to watch explosions
and,
and car racing,
machine guns,
and speedboat chasing,
are these selections o.k.?
Is this bread soft enough?
Is this raw enough
*sigh*
I want to pilot an X-wing, Sigh
III.
When I was ____teen,
I was so stupid,
I took a Clif bar and mashed it into the shape of a
turd,
and set it on the floor to watch people's reaction.
Males should go to school 2 years later than girls
because we mature so slowly and stupidly,
I wore fat skate shoes at the time,
but you probably already guessed that.
Huge fat black skate shoes, like big blocks on my legs,
god that looked stupid, probably made of shiny leather
or softy suede, and I probably loved to eat a hamburger back then,
and a fat greasy cookie from kim's corner.
Yesterday
Yesterday I was down at the kiosk,
A customer came up and points at meat,
my older coworker said,
"yes that's our 100% beef dog,
there's no filler in that"
I stood there for a few seconds thinking about
it.
Did the customer think that there may have been "filler"?
who knows.
What is this "filler"? Maybe I am no expert on sausage
I hate working at a place like that
A customer came up and points at meat,
my older coworker said,
"yes that's our 100% beef dog,
there's no filler in that"
I stood there for a few seconds thinking about
it.
Did the customer think that there may have been "filler"?
who knows.
What is this "filler"? Maybe I am no expert on sausage
I hate working at a place like that
February 15, 2011
Friend's house for dinner
I remember,
when I was young,
and more of a dick,
and I would go to my friend's house.
Several times I would stay for dinner.
We all sat around the table, and there was probably
chunks of breaded chicken or something,
and my friend's mom would say, let's say grace.
Then we would all have to hold hands, and close our eyes,
but I would look around at everyone.
It was so funny, looked at them with their eyes closed.
(These last two poems are a lot like Shane's previous one because I just
read his)
"Thank you Jesus for the meal" or something his mom would say,
I ... Don't ... Remember...!
Have more respect.
Should I?
OH these things are nothing in life,
aren't they?
Grainy bread, dead bread
when I was young,
and more of a dick,
and I would go to my friend's house.
Several times I would stay for dinner.
We all sat around the table, and there was probably
chunks of breaded chicken or something,
and my friend's mom would say, let's say grace.
Then we would all have to hold hands, and close our eyes,
but I would look around at everyone.
It was so funny, looked at them with their eyes closed.
(These last two poems are a lot like Shane's previous one because I just
read his)
"Thank you Jesus for the meal" or something his mom would say,
I ... Don't ... Remember...!
Have more respect.
Should I?
OH these things are nothing in life,
aren't they?
Grainy bread, dead bread
It's Tuesday
I started chuckling uncontrollably
when we were all eating salad,
Someone put their unwanted tomatoes in my bowl,
one after
the other.
I started chuckling,
when we were eating the salad with a balsamic vinaigrette,
my mom had asked me why I was so angry,
and I didn't say anything but just started laughing after a few seconds,
two people were looking at me.
I couldn't help it.
It was so funny.
It's what it's like what when in the movies when
the people, what they do is start laughing when
and about whatever is pissing them off or something.
when we were all eating salad,
Someone put their unwanted tomatoes in my bowl,
one after
the other.
I started chuckling,
when we were eating the salad with a balsamic vinaigrette,
my mom had asked me why I was so angry,
and I didn't say anything but just started laughing after a few seconds,
two people were looking at me.
I couldn't help it.
It was so funny.
It's what it's like what when in the movies when
the people, what they do is start laughing when
and about whatever is pissing them off or something.
Seattle.
Soon I will be in Seattle.
If things work out.
I will have smoothies to share with friends.
Strawberry-Banana with Shnozberries.
Who wants some more? Don't forget to blend the ice cubes!
We will play soccer. It will be fun, we will take turns in goal.
I will score the most points though.
Points are better than goals.
We will make art. It will be better after wine.
Or beer.
Cider?
Goldschläger.
Movies that no one else likes, it's ok. Pretend that that that was the point.
Make a band. Indie-Punk-Metal. You know, original music.
Watch the Sounders fight and win. But the season will be over by then. Go Seahawks.
Walk around town, I mean city.
Go get bagels at places, walk by cute girls. Probably.
At least I can finally have Suicide Party 2012. When i'm 26. Way overdue.
If things work out.
I will have smoothies to share with friends.
Strawberry-Banana with Shnozberries.
Who wants some more? Don't forget to blend the ice cubes!
We will play soccer. It will be fun, we will take turns in goal.
I will score the most points though.
Points are better than goals.
We will make art. It will be better after wine.
Or beer.
Cider?
Goldschläger.
Movies that no one else likes, it's ok. Pretend that that that was the point.
Make a band. Indie-Punk-Metal. You know, original music.
Watch the Sounders fight and win. But the season will be over by then. Go Seahawks.
Walk around town, I mean city.
Go get bagels at places, walk by cute girls. Probably.
At least I can finally have Suicide Party 2012. When i'm 26. Way overdue.
February 12, 2011
2/12/11
The rain fell,
and then it stopped
But I can still
hear the dripping
when I listen
Someone had heard
the rain,
but then a rainbow appears,
and George W. Bush saw it,
he understood a message that
“Freedom is beautiful and universal and
everybody deserves to lead a free life”
But you can still hear the
water dripping from the
roofs
The water
still falls.
Still leaves
the alleys muddy.
and then it stopped
But I can still
hear the dripping
when I listen
Someone had heard
the rain,
but then a rainbow appears,
and George W. Bush saw it,
he understood a message that
“Freedom is beautiful and universal and
everybody deserves to lead a free life”
But you can still hear the
water dripping from the
roofs
The water
still falls.
Still leaves
the alleys muddy.
February 10, 2011
A human life
"Once on the inter-campus bus
[Sloop John B] started playing
and I started to get into it
and I noticed about 5 Rap-culture black kids
picking on me for my 'wimpy music.'
I wasn't going to let them ruin it
and by the end of the song
I had them all singing along with me"
[Sloop John B] started playing
and I started to get into it
and I noticed about 5 Rap-culture black kids
picking on me for my 'wimpy music.'
I wasn't going to let them ruin it
and by the end of the song
I had them all singing along with me"
February 4, 2011
Brand New
Buy something soon.
Buy it now, soon has passed.
Buy it used? Buy it new?
Buy it new!
It probably has packaging.
So open it...
Well now it's used.
February 1, 2011
Utility
Take the automobile, for instance
Its wheels make contact with the road surface
in order to:
Tree, green, meet, smooth
And it doesn’t have a
care,
Other than the level of its
inner fluids
Its wheels make contact with the road surface
in order to:
Tree, green, meet, smooth
And it doesn’t have a
care,
Other than the level of its
inner fluids
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)