Realizing everything you've already done
is incredibly stupid
and that you have a nearly nonexistent chance of
contributing anything noteworthy to anything
and that you are slowly deteriorating already
making the possibility of achieving the level
you once imagined more unlikely with every day
and simultaneously rejecting that self-pity
to make room for a new proficiency in life-mystery analysis
and a calm but satisfying sense of communion with
one hundred billion souls or more
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